Just Amother Day

To do lists

2007-10-12T21:16:00.000-05:00

While taking (what is starting to become a ritual again, abandoned after a year of living with my Mother-In-Law) my nightly hot bath and reading some sort of women's magazine that , by the way always manages to inspire in me a need to make wildly exotic meals and organize my pantie drawer and make me feel inadequate all at once, i went over my to-do list for the weekend in my head and it went a little bit like this.

1. Laundry
2.grocery shop
3. purchase pumpkins
4. purchase apples
5.do some more laundry
6.clean the floors
7.clean the cars out
8.put some laundry away

i can honestly say that just thinking of this weekends errands and chores exhausts me and writing them down actually brings tears to my eyes.

so, in an effort to garner some enthusiasm instead this weekend i will

1. admire all the great clothes we have, all the while lovingly cleaning them with a great smelling detg..
2. Take in the sights at the local stop and shop, admire the gorgeous colors of fall in the produce section and lovingly make up meals in my head as i purchase for the week ahead.
3. Enjoy the local pumpkin farm with 4 adorable kids. Pick out 4 of the best and have a blast carving them for this weekends annual pumpkin festival.
4. Enjoy one of the last weekends of the season to pick my own apples. And give thanks that kids that pick apples eat a lot of apples.
5. Dry and fold all the warm wonderful clothes we have and be grateful that its cold enough to finally bring out a few sweaters.
6. Wash my BEAUTIFUL wood floors that i have waited years for. Buff them, shine them and slide around in white socks for the remainder of the weekend.
7. eh......no getting around this one. Even Sam's friend, whom we had over for dinner, remarked upon the bad smell.
8. Hang and sort and put away stacks of clean fresh clothes, with a smile that my kids will be clean and warm and cute for at least another week!

Wow! I even manged to fool myself ;)

her many moods

2007-10-08T20:07:00.000-05:00

funny outtakes

2007-10-08T20:05:00.000-05:00

outtakes

more thoughts on simplicity.........

2007-10-02T19:35:00.000-05:00

fall as i see it.

vibrant and warm

fleeting is the soft rustle of leaves

before they rust and crinkle under rakes

soft piles form and the grass sprouts green again

after a long summer drought.

Its harvest time again and the days grow short.

Darkness moves in early now and sleep comes easy.

The air is clean and fresh and holds the promise of a long winters nap.

As usual, my last link didnt work.
what a surprise. Instead of wowing even myself with another attempt, i'll just provide the http of the original list, so that credit is given where credit is due!
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/

moving on to the next 5.....(ftr, there are 72)

Learn to say no.
Like most women this is a difficult concept for me.
Need me to stay late at work? No problem... Need me to watch your 3 kids for 5 hours on a Sat night? SURE!
Need me to stay up late and wash the clothes you forgot you needed, but remembered at 10 pm? Who needs sleep!
But this is something that i realize i need to do so that i can say yes to the things that really matter.

Limit your communications. Our lives these days are filled with a vast flow of communications: email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, forums, and more. It can take up your whole day if you let it. Instead, put a limit on your communications: only do email at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes (I recommend twice a day, but do what works for you). Only do IM once a day, for a limited amount of time. Limit phone calls to certain times too. Same with any other communications. Set a schedule and stick to it.
Limit your media consumption. This tip won’t be for everyone, so if media consumption is important to you, please skip it (as with any of the other tips). However, I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast.

Okay, this one is easy for me....I don't own a cell and i have one buddy on my list.

Purge your stuff. If you can devote a weekend to purging the stuff you don’t want, it feels seriously terrific. Get boxes and trash bags for the stuff you want to donate or toss. Here’s my guide on decluttering. Here’s a post on starting small.

I just joined freecycle this past week and next weekend i plan on doing just this.

Get rid of the big items. There’s tons of little clutter in our lives, but if you start with the big items, you’ll simplify your life quickly and in a big way.

On Thursady we are going to carmax to sell our third car. Seriously....who needs 3 cars in a house with only two drivers?

My best shot Monday!

2007-10-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

Finn, always happy to climb on the table!

Goodbye September

2007-10-01T13:22:00.000-05:00

apple eater!

harvest.

grasshopper!

nosepicker!

Apple picker!

The simple things.....

2007-09-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Its always one of my biggest goals to simplify life so that i might possibly have more time to enjoy all the simple things that life has to offer.

I read a post http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8378370156140700010 that really resonated, so i am going to try and answer the questions myself and put the answers into action.
Here are 5......

Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.

1.My health
2.Health of my children
3. Ouality time w/ the kiddos
4. My home.....a place of warmth, creativity and laughter and love

Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things. Article here.

I absolutely spend too much time trying to be and do what others expect. I am always late walking out the door from work, the last to take a break...i volunteer for things that i know i won't have the energy for and end up being really resentful.

Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.

Reality-work,clean,make meals, drive around like a crazy lady, yell,errands,laundry, online time

Dream- read, write, cook healthy meals, walks, create, share

Simplify work tasks. Our work day is made up of an endless list of work tasks. If you simply try to knock off all the tasks on your to-do list, you’ll never get everything done, and worse yet, you’ll never get the important stuff done. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest.

Read more.
um, no comment? nuff said?!

Simplify home tasks. In that vein, think about all the stuff you do at home. Sometimes our home task list is just as long as our work list. And we’ll never get that done either. So focus on the most important, and try to find ways to eliminate the other tasks (automate, eliminate, delegate, or hire help).

baby number 6

2007-09-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

my best shots Monday

2007-09-24T18:51:00.000-05:00

@ a fundraiser for next years relay....

i couldn't pick just one, and since i have not played in awhile i picked a few.....

happy fall, I've fallen behind.......

2007-09-23T09:38:00.000-05:00

Today is the kind of Glorious day sent straight from God. Its clear and crisp and bright. The leaves are tinged with red and gold but still flutter green in the breeze. Today marks the fall equinox, a day of equality for both the sun and the moon!
I sit here with a strong cup of Komodo Dragon, sort of melancholy and morose.....for i am so far behind. Still playing catch up for the hellish month of August.
I have little time, zero patience. little money and lots of needs. 10 mouths to feed in all, hands reaching out for their take. I am stretched thin. paper thin.
I have never been depressed before. Not even when Sam was in the throes in chemotherapy. That required too much strength. But now i find it hurts to wake up. And mindful that waking up at 3 am might play a part i shrug off my feelings of exhaustion for too long. So long now that i find myself as tense and taut as the rubber band i hold everything together with. And i know, if i try to add one more thing to the bundle, the band and myself are going to snap.
I feel tremendous guilt.
Last year we went apple picking and on long hikes. We picked vibrant leaves and brought them home to press. This year i am hard pressed to get the laundry done. Oh the laundry. It towers above me, a virtual mountain of what feels like my life. Something i need to climb, for when i get there is sure to be the most beautiful view.
Because i know, the harder the climb, the uglier the storm; the better the view.
I have sheltered much worse storms, climbed much higher mountains and i have faith this this too shall pass.
Until then i will be more forgiving of myself, more trusting in God that our harvest is coming. I will remember that nothing stays the same forever and i will hold those i love much closer and treat them with more respect.
I will start with the dirty piles of clothes and hopefully with each garment washed clean, so will a piece of my soul and i will fall back, anew with the promise of a better tomorrow.

checking in

2007-09-13T08:39:00.000-05:00

hi,
its my first day off since Tuesday, which was the kids first day of school, effectively making it a wash.
Sorry i have been out of touch. The days are longgggg, ironically as the days shorten and its dark by 7!

I am working a ton, as is Dustin and we are just so behind. I keep coming up with little projects and starting them and not finishing and then moving on.
For instance, the other day i found a covered up brick patio in the back yard. Its pretty decent in size, but after a day of weeding and pulling the inches of dirt and grass off it, i gave up! Then i moved onto putting a few coats of primer on the living room. I think today is the day i finish both projects....come hell or come Finn.
Which these days are one in the same. The boy is a NUT! He is in constant motion and even more constant trouble. He is covered in bumps and scabs and bruises and just as ornery as "all get out" or so the saying goes.
I contacted birth to three and had him evaluated and he does qualify for some services...mainly for his speech and his social skills.
He threw the ladies toys in her face!!
Abby got off to an okay start in school. Aside from the fact that she will only wear summer shoes and dresses. Apparently her feet are sensitive to socks and sneakers or even dress shoes after a summer of freedom, and all her skirts, shorts and pants slide down, driving her....and the rest of the neighborhood crazy!
Maddie is doing pretty well. She has turned into little miss responsible and Dust and i have to keep telling her to let us parent so she can be a kid. I think she sense mine and Dustin high stress and lack of sleep and is trying to compensate :(
Sam got his mouth retainer, to the tune of 500 dollars that insurance did not cover!!!! We had to pay for the whole thing and i cannot even figure out how to get it in. We are going today for a lesson in that.
He is already fighting me about homework and chores and TV and man its going to be a long year i c an already tell.

I'm still thinking a lot about Grandpa O'Brien and oddly missing him, even though we were not even in close contact.
I had a horrible dream it was actually Dustin that died and they placed him in a mass grave and the kids wouldn't come say goodbye. Woke up crying when i remembered someone actually did die.

I don't think i mentioned, but we have a new puppy. Dustin went up to New Hampshire and brought home a Weimeraner!! While i was at work. Yup..... an hunting dog, known for its affection for cats and other small fluffy things. When i say affection i mean its love for hunting them down
For now the cats, renamed pink and purple to match their collars, are alive and well and its the puppy, Kaiser that is afraid of them.
At the end of the day i have worked 8 hours, and taken care of 8 small living creatures. I am not, however, getting a good 8 hours of sleep and for now that's okay. Because its finally fall and i come home to a house that's all mine and well, i drink a lot of good coffee :)

Thursdays theme is Pretty

2007-08-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

This is of the Scantic River, which is a 2 miute drive from our new house.
We spend a lot of time there anyways, but i imagine we will be spending a lot more in the future.
The water is now down to a pretty gentle flow, no longer the fast cool sweeping water of spring, nor the refreshing depth of summer.

In fact, the entire trail along the river showed signs of the impending fall, with leaves falling astray and lightening in color.

In just 3 short weeks the green will give way to the glorious colors of a New England fall, and in truth, i can't wait.

We need the crisp air just as much as we need the structure of school and routine and dare i say even homework?

The kids are just a mess after a long summer of little fun and lots of changes.
I can only hope that as we get ready to fall back that things calm down.

since i've been gone

2007-08-26T10:26:00.000-05:00

This summer can be summed up as a summer of new beginnings, long goodbyes and no rest for the weary.
It has seriously been a long haul and one i don't hope to experience again any time soon.
After years at home with the kids i headed back to the workforce and now get what all the buzz is about when debating the working mom versus the stay at home mom. Both are equally challenging and i won't add fire to the flame, but i will say that i miss my kids, my kids miss me and i wish it was more affordable to stay home these days. I do enjoy working though, it feeds another part of my soul that life with 4 kids under age nine can't.
Doing things backwards as only the hub and i can, we just bought our very first home. Its exhilarating and overwhelming and i couldn't be happier. It is THE house for us, of this much i am sure, and i look forward into making this house a home. And even documenting my progress on this very blog so i can look back and see what all those sleepless nights were all about.

My Grandfather passed away the day after we closed on our house. He was an amazing man, a two-time veteran of War. He also served our country as a Special Agent in the FBI and later as Deputy Assistant Director. He was your typical Irish Catholic O'Brien man, straight out of Southey Boston, with the morals and ideals to match. Suffice to say, he was NOT the most easy man to get along with. He was right and i was left and though the two never reconciled, he was always there and good and kind and i miss him. I miss knowing that i can't send him Christmas cards or pictures of the kids and i miss knowing that i never will be ever to sit with him and ask the questions i always wanted to ask.
Godspeed F.X. O'Brien.....if ever there was a man that had a Golden ticket into Heaven it is you and i hope you are rejoicing in the Glory of the righteous and good.
I love you.

That's enough for now i think...........Until later,
Ashlea

The long road home

2007-08-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

We. Own.A.House
Of our very own!
I can't even express the joy...the comfort....the security, that buying our first home has given us all.....but let me say its huge and all encompassing!

More later.............

juicy

2007-08-05T20:32:00.000-05:00

introspection

2007-08-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

on Faith

2007-07-24T22:57:00.000-05:00

When i don't have much faith, i look into these eyes. I mean have you ever seen a more faithful or knowing look?!
I look into them and they say to me that its okay to have doubt, or to have fears. But they also implore upon me the importance of believing in more than i know. Once upon a time a Dr. avoided these eyes and told me, in his infinite knowledge that this here boy wouldn't be around just a mere 12 months from that day. Next month marks the 7 years since we heard that, and i still need to remind myself that had Mr. Know-it-all Dr actually looked into the baby version of these eyes, that he too might have seen what this boy has known all along. That sometimes, despite what you know to be true, it can all come down to having a little faith.

Lake House

2007-07-05T16:00:00.000-05:00

Lak

Thursdays Theme : BEGIN

2007-06-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

S and M started these plants as seeds, in April. I am so glad they like to play in the dirt! I hope it's the beginning of a love affair with gardening!
I can't wait for the day we can have our own garden.

We almost purchased a house this week and i was going to take a shot of packed up boxes.
How frusturating to be thisclose but no cigar.

Still, i remain hopeful that it will happen soon!

I also Begin a new job next week. I have worked off and on since having my first child 9 years ago.

I really can't wait!

Thursdays Theme : Glee

2007-06-21T14:43:00.000-05:00

summer

2007-06-20T20:21:00.000-05:00

You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach

You're a free spirit who is always thinking of new ways to have fun.And you don't just love summer... you live for it.So, you really should blow off your responsibilities and head to the beach!

http://www.blogthings.com/whereshouldyouspendyoursummerquiz/">Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

Happy summer solstice :)
It's almost the last day of school as well, and by the tingling in my toes, butterflies in my tummy anticipation you would think i was the kid! But i can so vividly remember that feeling. FREEDOM! And, looking back, summer was always good to me. It wasn't like Christmas, built up to be so much bigger and better in my mind. Nope, summers for me were exactly as i hoped they would be. Swimming and sleeping in and Popsicles and riding my bike to the 7-11 for my moms cigarettes. Okay, so the last one is horrible and in hindsight i cannot even imagine what my mom was thinking, but with the change i could pick out anything i wanted, which was always taffy that would melt in my pocket on the way home and be melty and yummy and oh so good. To this day taffy says summer to me.
I can't say that i see the same excitement in my kids face that i remember feeling as a child, and i don't doubt that it's because these days summer break comes complete with workbook's to fill out, reading lists to read, helmets to wear, and sex offenders down the street to watch out for.
So, while i can't say that i would ever send my kids to the 7-11 for anything, let alone cigarettes, i am kinda sad they won't get the chance.

My best shot Monday

2007-06-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

what i did and didn't do on Fathers day

2007-06-17T22:44:00.000-05:00

Today we took D to the beach for Fathers Day. Well, if you count him driving us, paying for and planning the whole day himself.
But really, that is a gift for this man. This man that hates my driving, likes to spend his money and being in control of how he spends the day.

It was a lovely, glorious, fantastic day.

The weather was just right, the waves were high and knocked the crap out of all of us. (Sam's words there). The kids played nicely, and didn't fight at all. No really, at all!

We really had a great day.

Until i got home and checked the machine.

My dad called and left 4 messages. I assumed he was in manic mode and didn't return his call.

On fathers day.

yay me.

---------------------------

Update

Thanks to a perfectly times "Happy Fathers Day from the Cat" card in the mail, all is forgvien.

Oh, and he really was manic.

giving thanks...........

2007-06-15T22:44:00.000-05:00

I lead a really lucky life. I am a young white American girl . I live in a free country with access to medicine, education,clean water and a thermostat that is usually set at 70 degrees. While some people wouldn't think those facts make me lucky, i know better.
I've one employed husband, 4 gorgeous, funny and happy kids, also with good health & free education. They don't think that makes them lucky, but again, i know better.
And my parents that are alive and kicking and care enough about me to call 40 times a week. This drives me crazy dad, and it's why i haven't told you i have caller ID, because i know it would hurt your feelings if you knew i was avoiding your calls, because yes dad, i know you know better.

Here's the problem. I don't see myself as lucky. In fact i live by the old adage, "if i didn't have bad luck, i would have no luck at all" and in fact i would consider that to be my mantra for at least 6 of the last 10 years.
And lets face it, some really bad things did happen over the course of the last 10 years. My baby was diagnosed with cancer. It sucked. It still sucks. But last week he turned 9! See, Dr. I...you told me me to take him home and make him comfortable, but thank goodness i knew better.
And you believe me, there is not a day that goes by that i don't thank God, Heaven and Earth and kiss the very ground that he walks on that Sam is here with us, alive and well......but it took me reading this post, over at thisblog to see how lucky i really am. http://ingliseast.typepad.com/ingliseast/2007/06/the_gift_of_lia.html
But you see, she is lucky too. Lucky to have known her sweet angel boy, if only for a short moment here on this Earth.
But because of her and her poignant writing on what was surely the worst thing to ever happen to her, i have a new take on luck. Sometimes when life hands you what appears to be the worst luck of all, it is possible to find a moment, a morsel, a glimpse of peace. Of hope, of joy, or luck.
It was good luck that little Liam was able to stay around long enough to give his parents a peaceful passing. They got to hold him, know him and love him and to say goodbye. He was lucky to have them.
I know that i won't soon forget him and everytime something bad happens, i am going to try and find a little morsel, a moment or a glimpse of peace, hope, joy or luck.
Godspeed Liam.

Imagine its the early 1900's

2007-06-14T07:51:00.000-05:00

And you are a Cowboy,

and you spend the day gunslinging and riding horses.

Thursdays Theme: Spin

2007-06-07T09:17:00.000-05:00

really the spin is metaphorical here......As we walked laps around the track we were all reading placards about cancer awareness...... the spin was obviously "awareness".

For more spin themed pictures visit tracy @

http://picturethis.clubmom.com/picture_this/

My best shot Monday

2007-06-04T08:28:00.000-05:00

It was the magic hour........
for more best shots visit Tracy @http://picturethis.com

luminaria

2007-06-03T20:08:00.000-05:00

honor

2007-06-03T20:07:00.002-05:00

Sam

2007-06-03T20:07:00.001-05:00

boob man

2007-06-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

go figure my little nurser would gravitate to this one!

my survivor...

2007-06-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

i'll bet on him any day

Galaxy of hope

2007-06-03T20:05:00.001-05:00

Gray matters

2007-06-03T20:05:00.000-05:00

Our team

our voices will be heard

2007-06-03T20:04:00.000-05:00

we raised a grand total of over 90,000 dollars...our team brought in 8,018

galaxy of hope.

2007-06-03T20:03:00.000-05:00

Sam and Maddie sold over 500 moons.

tomorrow is

2007-06-01T21:38:00.000-05:00

Relay for Life.......also known as one of about ten reasons i have'nt been blogging as of late.
Our team, Gray Matters; Waging the War on Brain tumors has raised over six thousand dollars for the American Cancer Society and the kids raised somewhere around 600 of that themselves. I am wicked proud of them. It's bound to be an emotional day with Sam starting the day off walking in the first lap of the day, the Survivors lap.
I'll be sure to post some pics!

my best shot monday

2007-05-14T09:39:00.000-05:00

for more best shot Mondays, visit Tracey @ picturethis.com

2007-05-09T20:21:00.000-05:00

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2007-05-09T20:17:00.002-05:00

2007-05-09T20:17:00.001-05:00

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2007-05-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

Inherited

2007-05-09T20:15:00.000-05:00

I always said i would never be the mother that dresses her children alike, like just how corny is that mother anyway? Did she get a twofer, i questioned...in the days before i had kids? Or was it a control issue? Was she just so type A, that the idea of kids wearing different, or even un-matching outfits, sent shivers down her Laura Ashley spine?
And then i had two girls.....two boys as well.....though for the most part they luck out.
And these two girls, more often than not, get co-ordinating outfits and even identical outfits. Its apparently a disease that wasn't mentioned in the book "What to expect when you are expecting", which is ironic because, those authors have no qualms about scaring you in regards to every other parenting aspect out there.
But the thing i recently learned? The dress-your-daughters-alike-disease is inherited. I never got to meet my Grandma, but in viewing a few recent pics....i'm glad to know that a little bit of her is in me.
I'll have to remember to share that info w/ my own girls one day.....

my best shot monday

2007-05-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

poor girl inherited my flinstone feet!
for more best shots vistit Tracy @ picturethis.com

My best shot Monday

2007-04-30T06:47:00.000-05:00

see other best shot's @ Picture This

updating

2007-04-14T21:52:00.000-05:00

So, its been awhile since i sat long enough to even think about my thoughts, much less write them down. Which really is good because my mind has been a jumble of incoherent thoughts, nothing of much substance. Just a lot of white noise. I find that when i am stressed i go on auto-pilot. Just trying to get through the day takes so much out of me, that i literally don't delve deep.
I joined the gym....not just a gym, but a major chain gym, aghhhh the horror! I am NOT a gym person. All the young girls w/ belly button rings and fake tans and designer workout clothes and all the sweaty, meaty muscle men staring at the aforementioned girls. Ugh, just ugh! But its not that bad i am finding out...okay, only having been 2 times i can't really judge, right? I go with my sister-in-law, who i don't know all that well, despite almost 8 years of marriage to her brother, but what i do know i like and what i am getting to know is nice! We do Yoga, which feels really horrible, i mean wonderful and i get an hour away from chaos.
I still feel restless and at least once a day i want to pack up myself and the kids, buy an RV and travel the country. Homeschooling them and enjoying this life which is all too short.
Speaking of, We had a recent scare with Sam which reminds me even more about finding the joy in ones life and running with it.
I am going to look for ways to expand my joy if it kills me. Yeah, i know that sentence doesnt jive!
welcome to my world! conflicting eh?

my 2nd bsm

2007-04-09T19:23:00.000-05:00

It was so cold this easter, colder than Christmas even...

mbsm

2007-04-09T19:21:00.000-05:00

red barn

2007-04-02T08:57:00.000-05:00

my best shot monday

2007-04-02T08:56:00.000-05:00

Real moms

2007-03-28T11:02:00.000-05:00

a meme.....not one i was personally tagged to do, since that would mean people actually read this, but i am jumping in anyway.
Real moms shake their tail-feather.
I love,love,love to dance. BK (before kids) you would often find me at a dance club. Since i have neither the time nor the inclination, now you will now find me in front of the mirror shaking it up to the
pussycat dolls, 50 cent, Nelly, Gwen..... just me.....shakin' what my mama gave me. Which isn't much.

You didnt think i was really going to post MY tail-feather, didya? I saved you that.

I clover you

2007-03-17T18:25:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patricks Day! As a former O'Brien i should be eating Corn beef and cabbage, but instead am waiting for the Turkey i cooked instead to start working its triptophanic magic so i can crawl into bed with S is for silence and a hot cup of tea. It snowed an unbeliveable amount for late March, even in New England, even for this ex-Colorao girl, so wake me up when spring is done with its tricks and i can stop taking yet another pic of another kid in the snow!
Erin go Braugh

2007-03-10T22:19:00.000-05:00

springs moss

2007-03-10T22:17:00.000-05:00

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2007-03-10T22:16:00.000-05:00

the taste of snow

2007-03-05T19:15:00.000-05:00

Can't you remember doing the very same thing? This is my submission for My Best Shot Monday by Tracie @ picturethis

http://picturethis.clubmom.com/picture_this/

100 things

2007-03-04T20:18:00.001-05:00

about me.........
I was born in Alb, New Mexico
2. My Parents were 16 years apart in age.
3. They divorced when i was 2, thank Gawd!
4. I lived with each of them
5. i got a step-father at 5.
6. I hated him at first
7. but now respect& love him more than my own father
8. who suffers from bipolar disorder
9. i suffer right along with him
10. I have two half brothers and one half sister
11. but am still an only child at heart ;)
12. i adore my little sister
13. i have a nephew her same age
14. that i don't even know
15. my brothers are rednecked, republican hunters
16. i hate hunting, and rednecks and republicans
17. i met my husband at 16
18.i knew without a doubt i would marry him
19. i don't think he felt the same ;)
20. We had out first child almost 2 years later
21. I was barely 18
22. i was the happiest person on the planet
23. finally, i knew why i was here
24. Sam is almost 9, he just melts my heart.
25. He has a brain tumor
26. i HATE BRAIN TUMORS
27. We had madeline 17 months later.
28. she is smarter than me.
29. she drives me so crazy (in a good way)
30. mostly because she is so amazingly smart
31. i couldnt be prouder of her
32. like with everything else, i am sure she will prove #31 wrong!
33. My husband joined the air force when he was 27
34. i got pregnant with my 3rd.
35. Abby was born exactly one day after i planned
36. The day after Thanksgiving, when i knew my huz would be on leave
37. She is 3
38. she makes me laugh so hard
39. I can't get enough of her
40.My fourth...yes i know what causes that and hey, we all have to be good at something!, just turned one year old.
41. His name is Finnian.
42. He is surely the coolest baby on the planet.
43. he has a mohawk and is a real happy kid.
44. God made him that way for me.
45. huz was done after #3, but i asked for one more and received.
46. a cool, easy baby was my saving grace.
47. had he cried as much as the girls i am sure we would be divorced
48. which would kill my MIL
49. who is very very Catholic
50. both of our families are btw
51. which is why we are not practicing a religion
52. we live with my MIL right now
53. In CT
54. Its an extremely hard thing to do
55. even though i am blessed with an amazing MIL
56. i miss my plants
57. and my music
58. and my life.
59. We are trying really hard to get a house
60. medical bills rocked our world
61. not that we really care
62. we know what matters most.
63. my mom is in CO now
64. and i miss her so much that i cry at least once a week!
65. She makes me laugh.
66. humor runs in the family
67. we spend a lot of time at the beach, or fishing or on long nature walks.
68. its the only time this loud family of 6 is quiet!
69. i don't have many friends
70. i LIKE being a loner
71. when people do get close, i run
72. I love to read
73. i watch LOST religiously and wish i were on that Island
74. In all honesty, my life is pretty boring
75. I long for a more exciting life.
76. But am afraid of just going for it.
77. I want to pack up the kids, travel the country
78. homeschool them all
79. I am sure Maddie will help ;)
80. Then we can settle in the place we all loved most of all!
81. I have been to all the beautiful places
82. It's important to me that my kids see the same
83. I am very liberal
84. very pro womens and childrens rights
85. mens too, not that there seems to be an issue there
86. I plan on voting for Obama in the next election
87. even over Hillary, who i heart
88. i think we need BIG change
89. i would love a ticket that looked like this "clinton, Gore...once more" i realize that contradicts 88
90. I love Al Gore....and the Kennedys.
91. I am a total blue state democrat.
92. I love the Earth
93. Though i am not very crunchy
94. as in i love meat
95. whenit comes to my kids you might call me crazy
96. i co-sleep, extended breastfeed, dont believe in RIC, sling, etc....
97. i tend to think its good parenting
98. I could care less if you disagree
99. its good for them, for me.....
100. it makes me happy. They make me happy!

When it rains it pours:

2007-03-02T10:52:00.000-05:00

and then your windshield wipers break. As you are driving your kids to school. In the pouirng freezing rain. And you are sticking you're head out the window Ace Ventura style while thoughts of crashing are roaring through your head. And your real concern about that? The fact that you did not brush your teeth, or get dressed this morning and how awful its going to be when you are at the hospital being examined. Almost harder to explain....you imagine anyway, Is going to be the waffles with extra syrup all over the car because you were running late and your 3 year old, who has done nothing but throw up for the past 24 hours, NEEDS HER FAFFLES NOW MOMMY! But your other daughter. You know the perfect one that just cringes at the thought of being brought to school late by her imperfect mother is yelling at you to hurry up so the 3 year old with her plate full of waffles are thrown into the car. But in my imagination i can only picture the condemning of a mother that feeds her children waffles in a moving vehicle for goodness sakes. The fact that this is what concerns me as semi's splash on by tells you something about me I'm sure. The fact that in our haste i forgot to give the perfect daughter her lunch money would probably add to that opinion, so i'll leave that part out....well in future tellings of the story anyway!
I tell ya, i could not make this stuff up if i tried...and after reading today's horoscope ;

Friday, March 2nd, 2007 PST
Cancer (June 21 - Jul 22)

The external noise may not bother you much today, for you are buzzing with useful ideas that make you excited with the potential. Don't let your best thoughts just slip away; communicate them to others at work. But don't stretch the truth; if you say and write exactly what you know, your words will positively impact others.

I would'nt even dare try.
So....i know this much to be true. If you ever wake up on a random Friday morning and its pouring freezing rain, go back to bed! Or you might just almost get into an accident with a semi and the paremedic will see you in your flannel pj's and flip-flops and your car just might get covered in eggo syrup and your daughter will have to charge the homemade macaroni and cheese that day and you DEFINTELY will not be winning any mother of the year awards!

best shot Monday

2007-02-19T08:07:00.000-05:00

m

2007-02-18T18:30:00.000-05:00

2007-02-18T18:29:00.000-05:00

t

2007-02-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

mom and baby

2007-02-17T22:46:00.000-05:00

best shot monday

2007-02-12T13:57:00.000-05:00

2nd choice

2007-02-12T13:55:00.000-05:00

self portrait

2007-02-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

apparently everyone is doing them.
i want to put a disclaimer....something like "its ten below zero, husbands been out of town for 2 weeks, my 3 year old used all my make-up and did i mention its cold?!"
but the reality is, this is me.

2007-02-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

S.A.M

2007-02-08T20:16:00.000-05:00

Today i got the news that you would be graduating from speech therapy and OT. Actually i was told you don't qualify anymore. With tears in her eyes, your poised and put together therapist said she was saying goodbye! Its been 6 years since you talked in your own little language. The grunts and the points. The silly little non-words. You even taught your little sister sam speak and the two of you would converse for hours while your dad and i would look on, sure that it wasn't the antibiotics that made the birth control in-effective, i was obviously implanted by an alien and you were its offspring!The fact that i grew up not far from Roswell even made it somewhat plausible.
Still, it was cute and we enjoyed it and for the longest time we had no idea it was indicitave of a much larger problem.
Then one day our world as we knew it ended. But not yours....you went on in that silly little sam speak with not a care in the world. Until one day you couldnt anymore. Those days were the lonliest days. We missed your voice, we missed your sam speak. All in all you lost your voice for 3 months and when you got it back, well. It was Amazing. You were almost 4 years old and you said i love you mom for the first time. Still, i kinda missed listening to your sam speak. But you worked so so hard. Harder even than any one i ever met.
And today. Today we say goodbye and thank you.

my best shot Monday

2007-02-05T11:35:00.000-05:00

my niece, little cutie that she is...booger nose and all!

2007-02-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

2007-02-02T16:54:00.000-05:00

2007-02-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

my best shot Monday

2007-01-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

not really A best shot, but she has been waiting for snow all winter, the dusting we got was fun for footprints!

rice and beans, beans and rice

2007-01-15T22:49:00.000-05:00

So, my brother-in-law gave me the best advice i've heard all year....and yes, i know the years just begun. But its his no fail get out of debt, get rich quick advice.
Advice i MUST heed if i ever want my children to have ANY kind of secure future. (oh, like i never thought of that, thanks asshole)
Its called rice and beans, beans and rice. Basically if it aint rice and beans you dont buy it! Did i mention he was scarfing down the pizza we ordered and paid for? I almost told him i was less worried about my childrens future, but was becoming increasingly more worried about their dinner, which was quickly disappearing!
This *almost beats his bit of wisdom a month or so before Finn was born. In order to avoid my 4th epidural, i must just concentrate harder on an object in the room and think my way through the pain. Again, why didnt i think of that?

p.s his wife had an epidural during the birth of their 1st child, a few months later!

2007-01-11T15:47:00.000-05:00

2007-01-11T15:45:00.000-05:00

Finn, after a nap.

wrong door

2007-01-11T15:39:00.000-05:00

I have the srtongest feeling lately that somewhere along the way i opened the wrong door and am not where i am supposed to be. I mean..living conditions are not ideal and its partly that.But i also feel pulled in the opposite direction that we seem to be headed. Yet i feel powerless to change anything. Or I'm just so very afraid, because when i do start to head in the direction of my heart, well, lets just say awhole lot of people are going to be in my face asking a whole lot of questions. I already get so many, and am judged on so many levels.
I really need strength to tell those that love us that i dont want to life my (our) lives the way they think we should.

New Year, New Me

2007-01-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

Happy 2007! This year i really am following my longgg list of resolutions! first and foremost, im finding me under all the fat and sweat pants ive managed to pile on all of 2006.

2006-12-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

cheetah-licious

2006-12-20T23:32:00.000-05:00

Took M to see the Cheetah girls! It was wayyy out of the way, like an hour and a half, but it was so good to spend some one on one time w/ her. Its been like, years!
On the way there we discussed Santa. This is def the last year she is buying into him for sure. Bittersweet i guess. The concert was HILARIOUS! I mean, i'm really glad that these girls have a positive message, but oh my gosh the marketing that goes into making these girls such a hot commodity! I realized my own little M must be watching far too much television, since all the songs are only on the Disney channel and she knew them all by heart.
The girls were so darn funny though. and some of the dads w/ their girls stole my heart away.
Little F cried almost the whole time i was away. :(
D said he is never watching him again, at least until he's weaned.
Im so done. Like really really done.

the walking man

2006-12-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

Do you ever drive by houses and daydream about who lives inside? Maybe its a really expensive home, or unique or has an enchanted garden. For some reason it just appeals to you and you think, should that house ever go on the market, i'm making a bid.
Well, on my route to and from the kids school there is such a house. I have been drawn to it for years. Well the other day when picking the kids up the entire house was surrounded by crime scene tape. fast forward to the nightly local news and come to find out that an elderly man was killed in his sleep!
So, anyway.....the walking man. Also, on our twice daily trek to the kids school (we live out of district) we see a walking man. He is either mentally ill or physically ill, i cant even guess. But each and every day for the past few years ive seen him walk up and down this street. Literally ALL day. He looks homeless and i cant even begin to tell you how many times i've come thisclose to stopping and asking his story.
Well, guess what? He is the step-son and presumed murderer of the elderly man!

A

2006-12-13T19:10:00.000-05:00

M

2006-12-13T19:09:00.000-05:00

F

2006-12-13T19:08:00.001-05:00

S

2006-12-13T19:08:00.000-05:00

lost, not found

2006-12-11T18:54:00.000-05:00

So, after a few weeks of increasing demands and sky high stress, i thought i would turn to blogging. It's saved my sanity before and i could use some sanity rightaboutnow. Unfortunatly i can't find my blog. A mixed blessing no doubt. Seeing as i have made no progress since the last one, it would probably depress and stress me more to read it anyway. So....here's my new one, bright and shiny new.

Mondays are my most hated day of the week, well after Sunday's anyway. I used to love them both. Until my significant other got a part time job on Sundays. Making him a not very significant part of 2 whole days of the week. One spent working all day, the next sleeping it off. In front of me. As i struggle to get 4 kids!! fed, bathed,read to. You see why this might make me a little resentful.

Still, i did getone golden nugget today. Well two really......S and M, who are usually at each others throat were so, well, nice to each other today. M "helped" S with his homework. They joked quietly and S warned M when the dog went for her stuffed dog, fudge.
:::::::sigh:::::::::::