While taking (what is starting to become a ritual again, abandoned after a year of living with my Mother-In-Law) my nightly hot bath and reading some sort of women's magazine that , by the way always manages to inspire in me a need to make wildly exotic meals and organize my pantie drawer and make me feel inadequate all at once, i went over my to-do list for the weekend in my head and it went a little bit like this.
1. Laundry
2.grocery shop
3. purchase pumpkins
4. purchase apples
5.do some more laundry
6.clean the floors
7.clean the cars out
8.put some laundry away
i can honestly say that just thinking of this weekends errands and chores exhausts me and writing them down actually brings tears to my eyes.
so, in an effort to garner some enthusiasm instead this weekend i will
1. admire all the great clothes we have, all the while lovingly cleaning them with a great smelling detg..
2. Take in the sights at the local stop and shop, admire the gorgeous colors of fall in the produce section and lovingly make up meals in my head as i purchase for the week ahead.
3. Enjoy the local pumpkin farm with 4 adorable kids. Pick out 4 of the best and have a blast carving them for this weekends annual pumpkin festival.
4. Enjoy one of the last weekends of the season to pick my own apples. And give thanks that kids that pick apples eat a lot of apples.
5. Dry and fold all the warm wonderful clothes we have and be grateful that its cold enough to finally bring out a few sweaters.
6. Wash my BEAUTIFUL wood floors that i have waited years for. Buff them, shine them and slide around in white socks for the remainder of the weekend.
7. eh......no getting around this one. Even Sam's friend, whom we had over for dinner, remarked upon the bad smell.
8. Hang and sort and put away stacks of clean fresh clothes, with a smile that my kids will be clean and warm and cute for at least another week!
Wow! I even manged to fool myself ;)
Friday, October 12, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
more thoughts on simplicity.........
fall as i see it.
vibrant and warm
fleeting is the soft rustle of leaves
before they rust and crinkle under rakes
soft piles form and the grass sprouts green again
after a long summer drought.
Its harvest time again and the days grow short.
Darkness moves in early now and sleep comes easy.
The air is clean and fresh and holds the promise of a long winters nap.
As usual, my last link didnt work.
what a surprise. Instead of wowing even myself with another attempt, i'll just provide the http of the original list, so that credit is given where credit is due!
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/
moving on to the next 5.....(ftr, there are 72)
Learn to say no.
Like most women this is a difficult concept for me.
Need me to stay late at work? No problem... Need me to watch your 3 kids for 5 hours on a Sat night? SURE!
Need me to stay up late and wash the clothes you forgot you needed, but remembered at 10 pm? Who needs sleep!
But this is something that i realize i need to do so that i can say yes to the things that really matter.
Limit your communications. Our lives these days are filled with a vast flow of communications: email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, forums, and more. It can take up your whole day if you let it. Instead, put a limit on your communications: only do email at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes (I recommend twice a day, but do what works for you). Only do IM once a day, for a limited amount of time. Limit phone calls to certain times too. Same with any other communications. Set a schedule and stick to it.
Limit your media consumption. This tip won’t be for everyone, so if media consumption is important to you, please skip it (as with any of the other tips). However, I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast.
what a surprise. Instead of wowing even myself with another attempt, i'll just provide the http of the original list, so that credit is given where credit is due!
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/
moving on to the next 5.....(ftr, there are 72)
Learn to say no.
Like most women this is a difficult concept for me.
Need me to stay late at work? No problem... Need me to watch your 3 kids for 5 hours on a Sat night? SURE!
Need me to stay up late and wash the clothes you forgot you needed, but remembered at 10 pm? Who needs sleep!
But this is something that i realize i need to do so that i can say yes to the things that really matter.
Limit your communications. Our lives these days are filled with a vast flow of communications: email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, forums, and more. It can take up your whole day if you let it. Instead, put a limit on your communications: only do email at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes (I recommend twice a day, but do what works for you). Only do IM once a day, for a limited amount of time. Limit phone calls to certain times too. Same with any other communications. Set a schedule and stick to it.
Limit your media consumption. This tip won’t be for everyone, so if media consumption is important to you, please skip it (as with any of the other tips). However, I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast.
Okay, this one is easy for me....I don't own a cell and i have one buddy on my list.
Purge your stuff. If you can devote a weekend to purging the stuff you don’t want, it feels seriously terrific. Get boxes and trash bags for the stuff you want to donate or toss. Here’s my guide on decluttering. Here’s a post on starting small.
I just joined freecycle this past week and next weekend i plan on doing just this.
Get rid of the big items. There’s tons of little clutter in our lives, but if you start with the big items, you’ll simplify your life quickly and in a big way.
On Thursady we are going to carmax to sell our third car. Seriously....who needs 3 cars in a house with only two drivers?
Monday, October 1, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The simple things.....
Its always one of my biggest goals to simplify life so that i might possibly have more time to enjoy all the simple things that life has to offer.
I read a post http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8378370156140700010 that really resonated, so i am going to try and answer the questions myself and put the answers into action.
Here are 5......
Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.
1.My health
2.Health of my children
3. Ouality time w/ the kiddos
4. My home.....a place of warmth, creativity and laughter and love
Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things. Article here.
I absolutely spend too much time trying to be and do what others expect. I am always late walking out the door from work, the last to take a break...i volunteer for things that i know i won't have the energy for and end up being really resentful.
Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.
Reality-work,clean,make meals, drive around like a crazy lady, yell,errands,laundry, online time
Dream- read, write, cook healthy meals, walks, create, share
Simplify work tasks. Our work day is made up of an endless list of work tasks. If you simply try to knock off all the tasks on your to-do list, you’ll never get everything done, and worse yet, you’ll never get the important stuff done. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest.
Read more.
um, no comment? nuff said?!
Simplify home tasks. In that vein, think about all the stuff you do at home. Sometimes our home task list is just as long as our work list. And we’ll never get that done either. So focus on the most important, and try to find ways to eliminate the other tasks (automate, eliminate, delegate, or hire help).
I read a post http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8378370156140700010 that really resonated, so i am going to try and answer the questions myself and put the answers into action.
Here are 5......
Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.
1.My health
2.Health of my children
3. Ouality time w/ the kiddos
4. My home.....a place of warmth, creativity and laughter and love
Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things. Article here.
I absolutely spend too much time trying to be and do what others expect. I am always late walking out the door from work, the last to take a break...i volunteer for things that i know i won't have the energy for and end up being really resentful.
Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.
Reality-work,clean,make meals, drive around like a crazy lady, yell,errands,laundry, online time
Dream- read, write, cook healthy meals, walks, create, share
Simplify work tasks. Our work day is made up of an endless list of work tasks. If you simply try to knock off all the tasks on your to-do list, you’ll never get everything done, and worse yet, you’ll never get the important stuff done. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest.
Read more.
um, no comment? nuff said?!
Simplify home tasks. In that vein, think about all the stuff you do at home. Sometimes our home task list is just as long as our work list. And we’ll never get that done either. So focus on the most important, and try to find ways to eliminate the other tasks (automate, eliminate, delegate, or hire help).
Monday, September 24, 2007
my best shots Monday
@ a fundraiser for next years relay....
i couldn't pick just one, and since i have not played in awhile i picked a few.....
Sunday, September 23, 2007
happy fall, I've fallen behind.......
Today is the kind of Glorious day sent straight from God. Its clear and crisp and bright. The leaves are tinged with red and gold but still flutter green in the breeze. Today marks the fall equinox, a day of equality for both the sun and the moon!
I sit here with a strong cup of Komodo Dragon, sort of melancholy and morose.....for i am so far behind. Still playing catch up for the hellish month of August.
I have little time, zero patience. little money and lots of needs. 10 mouths to feed in all, hands reaching out for their take. I am stretched thin. paper thin.
I have never been depressed before. Not even when Sam was in the throes in chemotherapy. That required too much strength. But now i find it hurts to wake up. And mindful that waking up at 3 am might play a part i shrug off my feelings of exhaustion for too long. So long now that i find myself as tense and taut as the rubber band i hold everything together with. And i know, if i try to add one more thing to the bundle, the band and myself are going to snap.
I feel tremendous guilt.
Last year we went apple picking and on long hikes. We picked vibrant leaves and brought them home to press. This year i am hard pressed to get the laundry done. Oh the laundry. It towers above me, a virtual mountain of what feels like my life. Something i need to climb, for when i get there is sure to be the most beautiful view.
Because i know, the harder the climb, the uglier the storm; the better the view.
I have sheltered much worse storms, climbed much higher mountains and i have faith this this too shall pass.
Until then i will be more forgiving of myself, more trusting in God that our harvest is coming. I will remember that nothing stays the same forever and i will hold those i love much closer and treat them with more respect.
I will start with the dirty piles of clothes and hopefully with each garment washed clean, so will a piece of my soul and i will fall back, anew with the promise of a better tomorrow.
I sit here with a strong cup of Komodo Dragon, sort of melancholy and morose.....for i am so far behind. Still playing catch up for the hellish month of August.
I have little time, zero patience. little money and lots of needs. 10 mouths to feed in all, hands reaching out for their take. I am stretched thin. paper thin.
I have never been depressed before. Not even when Sam was in the throes in chemotherapy. That required too much strength. But now i find it hurts to wake up. And mindful that waking up at 3 am might play a part i shrug off my feelings of exhaustion for too long. So long now that i find myself as tense and taut as the rubber band i hold everything together with. And i know, if i try to add one more thing to the bundle, the band and myself are going to snap.
I feel tremendous guilt.
Last year we went apple picking and on long hikes. We picked vibrant leaves and brought them home to press. This year i am hard pressed to get the laundry done. Oh the laundry. It towers above me, a virtual mountain of what feels like my life. Something i need to climb, for when i get there is sure to be the most beautiful view.
Because i know, the harder the climb, the uglier the storm; the better the view.
I have sheltered much worse storms, climbed much higher mountains and i have faith this this too shall pass.
Until then i will be more forgiving of myself, more trusting in God that our harvest is coming. I will remember that nothing stays the same forever and i will hold those i love much closer and treat them with more respect.
I will start with the dirty piles of clothes and hopefully with each garment washed clean, so will a piece of my soul and i will fall back, anew with the promise of a better tomorrow.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
checking in
hi,
its my first day off since Tuesday, which was the kids first day of school, effectively making it a wash.
Sorry i have been out of touch. The days are longgggg, ironically as the days shorten and its dark by 7!
I am working a ton, as is Dustin and we are just so behind. I keep coming up with little projects and starting them and not finishing and then moving on.
For instance, the other day i found a covered up brick patio in the back yard. Its pretty decent in size, but after a day of weeding and pulling the inches of dirt and grass off it, i gave up! Then i moved onto putting a few coats of primer on the living room. I think today is the day i finish both projects....come hell or come Finn.
Which these days are one in the same. The boy is a NUT! He is in constant motion and even more constant trouble. He is covered in bumps and scabs and bruises and just as ornery as "all get out" or so the saying goes.
I contacted birth to three and had him evaluated and he does qualify for some services...mainly for his speech and his social skills.
He threw the ladies toys in her face!!
Abby got off to an okay start in school. Aside from the fact that she will only wear summer shoes and dresses. Apparently her feet are sensitive to socks and sneakers or even dress shoes after a summer of freedom, and all her skirts, shorts and pants slide down, driving her....and the rest of the neighborhood crazy!
Maddie is doing pretty well. She has turned into little miss responsible and Dust and i have to keep telling her to let us parent so she can be a kid. I think she sense mine and Dustin high stress and lack of sleep and is trying to compensate :(
Sam got his mouth retainer, to the tune of 500 dollars that insurance did not cover!!!! We had to pay for the whole thing and i cannot even figure out how to get it in. We are going today for a lesson in that.
He is already fighting me about homework and chores and TV and man its going to be a long year i c an already tell.
I'm still thinking a lot about Grandpa O'Brien and oddly missing him, even though we were not even in close contact.
I had a horrible dream it was actually Dustin that died and they placed him in a mass grave and the kids wouldn't come say goodbye. Woke up crying when i remembered someone actually did die.
I don't think i mentioned, but we have a new puppy. Dustin went up to New Hampshire and brought home a Weimeraner!! While i was at work. Yup..... an hunting dog, known for its affection for cats and other small fluffy things. When i say affection i mean its love for hunting them down
For now the cats, renamed pink and purple to match their collars, are alive and well and its the puppy, Kaiser that is afraid of them.
At the end of the day i have worked 8 hours, and taken care of 8 small living creatures. I am not, however, getting a good 8 hours of sleep and for now that's okay. Because its finally fall and i come home to a house that's all mine and well, i drink a lot of good coffee :)
its my first day off since Tuesday, which was the kids first day of school, effectively making it a wash.
Sorry i have been out of touch. The days are longgggg, ironically as the days shorten and its dark by 7!
I am working a ton, as is Dustin and we are just so behind. I keep coming up with little projects and starting them and not finishing and then moving on.
For instance, the other day i found a covered up brick patio in the back yard. Its pretty decent in size, but after a day of weeding and pulling the inches of dirt and grass off it, i gave up! Then i moved onto putting a few coats of primer on the living room. I think today is the day i finish both projects....come hell or come Finn.
Which these days are one in the same. The boy is a NUT! He is in constant motion and even more constant trouble. He is covered in bumps and scabs and bruises and just as ornery as "all get out" or so the saying goes.
I contacted birth to three and had him evaluated and he does qualify for some services...mainly for his speech and his social skills.
He threw the ladies toys in her face!!
Abby got off to an okay start in school. Aside from the fact that she will only wear summer shoes and dresses. Apparently her feet are sensitive to socks and sneakers or even dress shoes after a summer of freedom, and all her skirts, shorts and pants slide down, driving her....and the rest of the neighborhood crazy!
Maddie is doing pretty well. She has turned into little miss responsible and Dust and i have to keep telling her to let us parent so she can be a kid. I think she sense mine and Dustin high stress and lack of sleep and is trying to compensate :(
Sam got his mouth retainer, to the tune of 500 dollars that insurance did not cover!!!! We had to pay for the whole thing and i cannot even figure out how to get it in. We are going today for a lesson in that.
He is already fighting me about homework and chores and TV and man its going to be a long year i c an already tell.
I'm still thinking a lot about Grandpa O'Brien and oddly missing him, even though we were not even in close contact.
I had a horrible dream it was actually Dustin that died and they placed him in a mass grave and the kids wouldn't come say goodbye. Woke up crying when i remembered someone actually did die.
I don't think i mentioned, but we have a new puppy. Dustin went up to New Hampshire and brought home a Weimeraner!! While i was at work. Yup..... an hunting dog, known for its affection for cats and other small fluffy things. When i say affection i mean its love for hunting them down
For now the cats, renamed pink and purple to match their collars, are alive and well and its the puppy, Kaiser that is afraid of them.
At the end of the day i have worked 8 hours, and taken care of 8 small living creatures. I am not, however, getting a good 8 hours of sleep and for now that's okay. Because its finally fall and i come home to a house that's all mine and well, i drink a lot of good coffee :)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thursdays theme is Pretty
This is of the Scantic River, which is a 2 miute drive from our new house.We spend a lot of time there anyways, but i imagine we will be spending a lot more in the future.
The water is now down to a pretty gentle flow, no longer the fast cool sweeping water of spring, nor the refreshing depth of summer.
In fact, the entire trail along the river showed signs of the impending fall, with leaves falling astray and lightening in color.
In just 3 short weeks the green will give way to the glorious colors of a New England fall, and in truth, i can't wait.
We need the crisp air just as much as we need the structure of school and routine and dare i say even homework?
The kids are just a mess after a long summer of little fun and lots of changes.
I can only hope that as we get ready to fall back that things calm down.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
since i've been gone
This summer can be summed up as a summer of new beginnings, long goodbyes and no rest for the weary.
It has seriously been a long haul and one i don't hope to experience again any time soon.
After years at home with the kids i headed back to the workforce and now get what all the buzz is about when debating the working mom versus the stay at home mom. Both are equally challenging and i won't add fire to the flame, but i will say that i miss my kids, my kids miss me and i wish it was more affordable to stay home these days. I do enjoy working though, it feeds another part of my soul that life with 4 kids under age nine can't.
Doing things backwards as only the hub and i can, we just bought our very first home. Its exhilarating and overwhelming and i couldn't be happier. It is THE house for us, of this much i am sure, and i look forward into making this house a home. And even documenting my progress on this very blog so i can look back and see what all those sleepless nights were all about.
My Grandfather passed away the day after we closed on our house. He was an amazing man, a two-time veteran of War. He also served our country as a Special Agent in the FBI and later as Deputy Assistant Director. He was your typical Irish Catholic O'Brien man, straight out of Southey Boston, with the morals and ideals to match. Suffice to say, he was NOT the most easy man to get along with. He was right and i was left and though the two never reconciled, he was always there and good and kind and i miss him. I miss knowing that i can't send him Christmas cards or pictures of the kids and i miss knowing that i never will be ever to sit with him and ask the questions i always wanted to ask.
Godspeed F.X. O'Brien.....if ever there was a man that had a Golden ticket into Heaven it is you and i hope you are rejoicing in the Glory of the righteous and good.
I love you.
That's enough for now i think...........Until later,
Ashlea
It has seriously been a long haul and one i don't hope to experience again any time soon.
After years at home with the kids i headed back to the workforce and now get what all the buzz is about when debating the working mom versus the stay at home mom. Both are equally challenging and i won't add fire to the flame, but i will say that i miss my kids, my kids miss me and i wish it was more affordable to stay home these days. I do enjoy working though, it feeds another part of my soul that life with 4 kids under age nine can't.
Doing things backwards as only the hub and i can, we just bought our very first home. Its exhilarating and overwhelming and i couldn't be happier. It is THE house for us, of this much i am sure, and i look forward into making this house a home. And even documenting my progress on this very blog so i can look back and see what all those sleepless nights were all about.
My Grandfather passed away the day after we closed on our house. He was an amazing man, a two-time veteran of War. He also served our country as a Special Agent in the FBI and later as Deputy Assistant Director. He was your typical Irish Catholic O'Brien man, straight out of Southey Boston, with the morals and ideals to match. Suffice to say, he was NOT the most easy man to get along with. He was right and i was left and though the two never reconciled, he was always there and good and kind and i miss him. I miss knowing that i can't send him Christmas cards or pictures of the kids and i miss knowing that i never will be ever to sit with him and ask the questions i always wanted to ask.
Godspeed F.X. O'Brien.....if ever there was a man that had a Golden ticket into Heaven it is you and i hope you are rejoicing in the Glory of the righteous and good.
I love you.
That's enough for now i think...........Until later,
Ashlea
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The long road home
We. Own.A.House
Of our very own!
I can't even express the joy...the comfort....the security, that buying our first home has given us all.....but let me say its huge and all encompassing!
More later.............
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
on Faith
When i don't have much faith, i look into these eyes. I mean have you ever seen a more faithful or knowing look?!
I look into them and they say to me that its okay to have doubt, or to have fears. But they also implore upon me the importance of believing in more than i know. Once upon a time a Dr. avoided these eyes and told me, in his infinite knowledge that this here boy wouldn't be around just a mere 12 months from that day. Next month marks the 7 years since we heard that, and i still need to remind myself that had Mr. Know-it-all Dr actually looked into the baby version of these eyes, that he too might have seen what this boy has known all along. That sometimes, despite what you know to be true, it can all come down to having a little faith.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursdays Theme : BEGIN
S and M started these plants as seeds, in April. I am so glad they like to play in the dirt! I hope it's the beginning of a love affair with gardening!
I can't wait for the day we can have our own garden.
We almost purchased a house this week and i was going to take a shot of packed up boxes.
How frusturating to be thisclose but no cigar.
Still, i remain hopeful that it will happen soon!
I also Begin a new job next week. I have worked off and on since having my first child 9 years ago.
I really can't wait!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
summer
| You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach |
 |
http://www.blogthings.com/whereshouldyouspendyoursummerquiz/">Where Should You Spend Your Summer?
Happy summer solstice :)
It's almost the last day of school as well, and by the tingling in my toes, butterflies in my tummy anticipation you would think i was the kid! But i can so vividly remember that feeling. FREEDOM! And, looking back, summer was always good to me. It wasn't like Christmas, built up to be so much bigger and better in my mind. Nope, summers for me were exactly as i hoped they would be. Swimming and sleeping in and Popsicles and riding my bike to the 7-11 for my moms cigarettes. Okay, so the last one is horrible and in hindsight i cannot even imagine what my mom was thinking, but with the change i could pick out anything i wanted, which was always taffy that would melt in my pocket on the way home and be melty and yummy and oh so good. To this day taffy says summer to me.
I can't say that i see the same excitement in my kids face that i remember feeling as a child, and i don't doubt that it's because these days summer break comes complete with workbook's to fill out, reading lists to read, helmets to wear, and sex offenders down the street to watch out for.
So, while i can't say that i would ever send my kids to the 7-11 for anything, let alone cigarettes, i am kinda sad they won't get the chance.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
what i did and didn't do on Fathers day
Today we took D to the beach for Fathers Day. Well, if you count him driving us, paying for and planning the whole day himself.
But really, that is a gift for this man. This man that hates my driving, likes to spend his money and being in control of how he spends the day.
It was a lovely, glorious, fantastic day.
The weather was just right, the waves were high and knocked the crap out of all of us. (Sam's words there). The kids played nicely, and didn't fight at all. No really, at all!
We really had a great day.
Until i got home and checked the machine.
My dad called and left 4 messages. I assumed he was in manic mode and didn't return his call.
On fathers day.
yay me.
---------------------------
Update
Thanks to a perfectly times "Happy Fathers Day from the Cat" card in the mail, all is forgvien.
Oh, and he really was manic.
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